Kickin' Up the Curb...

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Kickin' Up the Curb...

Articles on this page:

Dressing the Ranch
Paint it Haint...A Paint Color with a Colorful Past

Feature This Interior Decorating and Real Estate Staging

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Dressing the Ranch

How to Enhance Curb-Appeal on a Ranch-Style House, by Michelle Molinari

(please feel free to reference this article in small excerpts, but please add a courtesy link to
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Classic Ranch Dressing

A Ranch House Requires Landscape to Define It.

Despite many books and articles hailing the distinct architectural history and design of the ranch-style house, many owners of these horizontal slices of Americana seem disdainful of the lineage of their very own homes.

Sometimes referred to as "California Ramblers", and "Ranch-Burgers", the post-WWII Ranch-Style House, by some estimates, comprises 70% of houses built between 1945 and 1970.

By my own estimate, I'd venture to guess that 98% of the owners of these houses wish their homes were a different architectural style.

Addressing curb-appeal issues and advising exterior paint colors for my clientele is what I do. Here in the Louisiana, the Ranch-Burger is the complete antithesis of our famous architectural influence, New Orleans' French Quarter. In the course of a week's time, I console, and then attempt to counsel, at least 5 to 10 closeted Ranch owners about the reason their house looks the way it does. In complete denial, they describe their house somewhat evasively, avoiding my eyes, drawing pictures for me to work from , and skirting my question: "Do you own a Ranch?"

Mentioning the low-slung roof and the clean, unadorned style causes flinches of pain to flash across their brow, as if I am rubbing salt into their wounds. Finally, they capitulate, "Yes, it is, and I hate it!"

Houston, Texas

Typical Ranch with a Brick Facade

Then they quickly go on and tell me of all their plans to abuse and humiliate their minimalist, modern-era classic with the addition of a wild tri-color scheme, porches, shutters, ironwork, awnings, and ultimately, a steeper-pitched roof.

In short, they want me to co-sign their plan to turn what they feel is a sow's ear, into a silk purse.

And so, I psychically gird myself for battle. I square my shoulders. I focus intently into their eyes, and break their hearts. With all the solemnity of a physician with bad news, I deliver my oft-repeated speech,

"Ms. So and So, the goal of our appointment is to give you the best advice I can, and not take all day to do it. The outcome of your plans to drastically obscure the structure of your architecture away from it's original design will bear out a cosmetically bizarre façade, not unlike Michael Jackson's face. Please, I beseech you, embrace the style of your house and the surrounding neighborhood, and let's work on enhancing your present design and, ultimately, your future equity."

Some clients, at this point, end our appointment in a huff. Most, however, let out a final, drawn-out sigh of defeat, but at least maintain the social courtesy of hearing me out. I go on, despite the glazed look and the slumped shoulders,

"Ranch-Style houses were specifically designed without adornment. Their color schemes should reflect the more subdued colors found to blend in with natural surroundings. Usually only one trim and one body color are warranted, with perhaps a third color used sparingly, if at all. The end result should be a palette of ecologically inspired, low-key hues.

Now It's A Ranch House with Style!

Digital Enhancement by Feature This...

Drama, interest, and individuality are expressed in artful, well-tended landscaping. The elongated house is but a quiet backdrop. The landscaping and families are the main characters in a predominantly Ranch neighborhood, not the houses themselves.

It's as wonderful a concept now as it was then."

These interventions, while deflating, always seem to occur right before I find myself in the drive-thru at Burger King.

Paint it Haint: A Paint Color with a Colorful Past

by Michelle Molinari

If you know what color “Haint Blue” is, then you may be shocked to find that not everyone everywhere knows what shade this color is, or what it can to do for homeowners today.

Haint Blue is most commonly used on houses in the southern region of the United States; however, many regions across the U.S. and cultures around the world describe similar protective properties of this color.

The word “haint” is European in origin, and generally refers to bodiless spirits with a less-than-nice agenda. The color Haint Blue supposedly has the unique property of repelling spooks, confusing them by blocking their ability to gain entry into a home. There are references to “haints” being unable to cross over water, so perhaps the blue color just ticks them off by reminding them of their shortcomings as paranormal entities.

First batches of haint blue paint in the U.S. in the 1850’s and were made by hand at the construction site, using raw materials such as blue-colored minerals and ochers, milk, and lime. It was noticed that bugs wouldn’t land on the dried paint, quite likely an affirmation for proponents regarding its ghost-busting abilities. However, most likely, it wasn’t the power of the color that the bugs were avoiding, but more likely, the lime the paint was made of.

Many cultures claim to be authorities on the exact shade and mystical properties of Haint Blue, which is also called Gullah Blue, Dutch Boy Blue, Dirt-Dauber Blue, and what they call it here in Louisiana… “That Blue Color Mosquitoes Hate.” The color is quite sought after, and can be found on homes, both old and new! It is especially popular for the porch ceiling and under the eaves.

Regardless of the myths surrounding Haint Blue, painting a historic house with a color with such colorful history gives us a sense of continuity, a sincere gratitude for the ingenuity of our forefathers, and an appreciation of their beliefs. It also gives us something to think about as we sip lemonade on a hot day, and stare up at the wasp’s nest anchored to our porch ceiling coated with our impotent modern-day latex Haint Blue paint.

Please be advised: The actual shade of "Haint Blue" varies, as the formulas were mixed by hand with local pigments. Haint Blue can range from a pastel violet-blue, such as a periwinkle, to a rich shade of warm turquoise, and everything in between. If you believe your house is plagued with poltergeist activity, call your local paranormal investigative society to find out what shade of Haint Blue is most effective on the "haints" in your county.

For more unbelievable curb appeal tips, visit our sister website, www.curbappealfordummies.com